I just generated a...

I just generated a chart for my journal. Name: _lemniscate Created November 10 2003 4:30 PM Time Zone is AEDT Melbourne, AUSTL Rising Sign is in 05 Degrees Aries You are a free spirit and you must be first at everything you do. Very energetic, self-assertive and active, things must be done your way. Even though you may feel calm and serene on the inside, you certainly do not act that way. You want to do everything full-tilt, 100 miles per hour! A great competitor, but a poor cooperator -- you must learn how to lose more gracefully. Very self-confident, ambitious and passionate, you radiate positive energy. You are blunt and direct, but at times unfeeling and tactless, especially if anyone offers you any resistance. You fight for your beliefs, but your tendency to act first and think later often causes you much grief. Sun is in 17 Degrees Scorpio. Intense and complex by nature, you have extremely strong emotional reactions to most situations. Feelings are often very difficult for you to verbalize. Therefore you have a tendency to be very quiet - - to brood and think a lot. You seldom get overtly angry, but, when you do, you are furious and unforgiving. When you make an emotional commitment, it is total -- you are not attracted to superficial or casual relationships. If you are challenged, you take it as a personal affront and tend to lash out and fight back in a vengeful manner. You love mysteries and the supernatural. A good detective, you love getting to the roots of problems and you enjoy finding out what makes other people tick. You are known to be very willful, very powerful and quite tenacious! Moon is in 00 Degrees Gemini. Restless in the extreme, you are easily bored because of your short attention span. Your emotions change rapidly and you love to talk about your feelings. Generally, you have good judgment -- your intellect controls your emotions and you do not overreact emotionally to things. A good jack-of-all-trades, you have many- sided interests and enjoy reasoning things through. With your mental agility and need for physical mobility, you are attracted to traveling and learning about other peoples and cultures. You have vivid powers of emotional self-expression - - you can be a nonstop talker. You love to share your ideas with anyone who will listen. Mercury is in 26 Degrees Scorpio. You are a born investigator. You are fascinated by secrets and mysteries and unanswered questions of any kind. When you become upset or angry, your emotional reactions are overpowering -- reason and logic disappear in an uncontrollable passionate outburst. You tend to keep your thoughts secret and bottled up and this makes others regard you with suspicion. It is not that you are trying purposely to be evasive, it is just that you would rather not deal with the explosions and hassles that often occur when you reveal your true feelings and opinions. Your sense of humor tends toward sarcasm and irony. Venus is in 09 Degrees Sagittarius. You are very aware of the need to maintain a high sense of morality in a relationship. Your loyalty and interest will remain constant in any relationship (either friendly, personal or business) that is based on fairness, honesty and justice. But you will become greatly hurt and disappointed if the other person takes any but the high road with you. Also, you cannot tolerate anyone being overly emotionally possessive of you. You are known for your friendly, outspoken manner. Mars is in 11 Degrees Pisces. Very sensitive and vulnerable, it is difficult for you to assert yourself. At times, you feel quite tired and you will require a lot of sleep in order to maintain your health and your strength. You are at your best when you act without your ego being important. You can be very unselfish and considerate of the needs of others. You get the most satisfaction by giving to others when you expect nothing in return. Beware of a tendency to want always to work behind the scenes or to become overly deceptive by doing things behind others' backs. Jupiter is in 14 Degrees Virgo. You feel most expansive and at ease with yourself when you are doing something that you consider to be practical or useful. You enjoy being dutiful and carrying out responsibilities. You gladly take on the little tasks that others seem to want to avoid. At times, you carry things to extremes and feel guilty anytime you do something that you consider to be self-indulgent. While it is appropriate for you to demand little for yourself in life, try to loosen up once in a while -- go out on a fling and enjoy yourself! Saturn is in 13 Degrees Cancer. The most important issue for you is emotional security. You have a deep and gnawing fear that those on whom you depend for emotional support will prove to be unreliable in the long run. When you are unloved and insecure, you distrust others and tend to feel isolated and lonely. Very cool, detached and objective, you can be counted on -- in situations that are inherently stressful or full of tension -- not to lose your self- control. That is a great and welcome gift at such times. Uranus is in 28 Degrees Aquarius. You, and most of your peer group as well, are reformers at heart. You want to make positive changes that will benefit society as a whole. You are willing to devote your time and energy to see that they come about, especially if the proper group support and combined purpose of will can be found. Be careful that your devotion to group goals does not produce too much friction or neglect in your own interpersonal one-on-one relationships. Neptune is in 10 Degrees Aquarius. You, and your entire generation, will idealize and even venerate the ability to remain detached as well as the ability to objectively analyze any given situation. There will be a concerted effort on your part to cure the ills of society as a whole. But be very careful to continue to maintain and protect the rights of individuals in the midst of these potentially far-reaching changes. Pluto is in 18 Degrees Sagittarius. For your entire generation, society's cherished beliefs and totems will be radically changed. Many traditional concepts will be totally altered, if not completely destroyed. The rights of individuals to pursue their own course in life will be reasserted. N. Node is in 20 Degrees Taurus. It's not in your nature to seek out many casual acquaintances in your daily round of activities. You feel much more comfortable with a small, close-knit group of people -- those with whom you can relax and work toward known and clearly defined goals. Your loyalty to a person or group, once given, is forever -- you'll expend all of your quite considerable energy in seeing that the group stays together and prospers. You choose your partners and relationships so carefully that you're bound to gain certain advantages from them, including those of a material nature. Be careful though not to let mere self-service be your motivation in establishing your connections -- make sure that there's an even give-and-take!

Brilliant. I h...

Brilliant. I have a kinesiology/thought field therapy appointment for-Tuesday May 10th, at 4:30pm.I will generate a chart.

Ph...

Phil you barstard!!!!!!#$@$%I'LL FIGHT YOU TO THE DEATH FOR MY MONEY!!!!

BWBA...

BWBAHAHAHAHAHAHAhttp://www.facade.com/tarot/personal/?UID=415327&Date=4%2F27%2F2005&Name=will+i+get+my+f%23ing+money+or+WHAT%3F&Query=&Deck=cat_people&Reading=celtic_crossI'm an idiot.

The Duality

I knew this all along!I bolded the traits I feel I posess, and really apply to my life right now. Sun Opposition PlutoYour strong will and stubbornness may get you into conflicts with others, because you are never willing to let anyone else have their way. You should admit to yourself that you enjoy a good battle, because it enables you to experience your own strength, assuming, of course, that you know you can win. The trouble is that even if you get tired of fighting, you cannot turn off the conflicts. You will have to learn to get along with others and save your energy for times when it is really important to get your own way. You will be strongly affected by the people whom you encounter. In order to see yourself clearly, you need others as a mirror. Sometimes you will learn through conflicts and sometimes through working with people, but the better you understand how others work, the better you will understand yourself. This means that unless you work especially hard to get along with people, your life will not develop as fast as it should. You should work with others to bring about changes in your own life and in the lives of those around you. You are not the kind of person who can live with a set pattern for the rest of your life. Without change and growth, you will begin to feel so restless that you will tear things down just for the sake of change. You will break up old relationships and form new ones, pull up stakes in one place and go somewhere else. This need for change is part of what you are, and you should accept this, because then you will learn to prefer it. Change has certainly brought me some wonderful new experiences... especially the change I have been through in the last 6 months. Pluto in the 6th... what a beautiful aspect. I used to only manifest it negatively, and see it as a curse but now that I am really intouch with what that particular astrological configuration means to me, I feel like I've made some amazing breakthroughs. I feel like my higher self is so 'proud of my ego' and its efforts to become more aligned with my higher self. This relationship will continue to blossom throughout the rest of my life. Pluto Trine Midheaven    This aspect indicates that you will always want to use your resources and talents to the best of your ability in order to get ahead in life. Even while you are young, long before most people are considering a career, you will begin to learn the best ways of using your talents to get where you want to go. However, some problems may arise in the course of your development that you should be aware of. For example, although later you will be concerned with resources, now you may simply be interested in owning things, which may result in your having a lot of useless clutter. Also be careful not to be so possessive of what you own that you are unwilling to share it with others at all. On another level, this aspect can signify that you get very involved in learning various skills. This can be very useful if you concentrate on useful skills and if you do not get so wrapped in them that you lose track of relationships with other people. Do not become too self-involved. Any situation in which you feel compelled to act by some inner compulsion can be bad for you because you are not aware of yourself and what you are doing at the time. As a result, your activities might have totally unexpected consequences. Make sure you understand your reasons for doing whatever you do. Nevertheless you have a strong drive to get ahead and to succeed, which should be very advantageous in competition with others. Your objectives in life may change several times and as an adult you may change careers, but your work and your outside interests should be enormously satisfying to you. My 2005 Solar Return begins next Friday, with Aries on the Eastern Horizon. I can feel the changes culminating on a metaphysical level, establishing new scenarios in my life. I feel like I'm about to go through another whole heap of changes, just like the ones I went through in October/November/December last year. It's really exhilirating, I'm manifesting totally different experiences now. It's a credit to the inner work I do, this Spiritual Trek will continue for the rest of my life. It'll be interesting to see the kind of person I become 10 years down the track- probably completely different to what I am now! Not by sitting back and letting Fate/unconscious agendas take control of me, but by consciously directing my will and co creating my reality. As Jung said, you must make the unconscious conscious- or it will direct your life, and you will call it fate.Once you reach a certain soul level (I believe myself to be a level 5/Advanced- psychically that is) you elect to return with a number of pressing past life resonances that you're literally compelled- inwardly, to unravel and transcend. Once you earn something spiritually, you own it for all of Eternity. No one can take it away from you. And that's the beauty of evolution. A thousand years is but an instant... there's nothing new, nothing different- same problems, over and over. The same clowns. The same music. There's nothing here for me now, nothing at all. Now I remember, this happened to me before. This is why I left. You have begun to find your answers. Although it will seem difficult, the rewards will be great. Excercise your human mind as fully as possible, knowing it's only an excercise. I remember where I came from, and how I became a human- and now my final departure schedule. This way out. Escaping velocity. Not just eternity, but Infinity.Our critique began as all critiques begin. With Doubt. Doubt became our narrative, ours was a quest for a new story, our own. And we grasped towards this new history driven by the suspicion that ordinary language couldn't tell it. Our past appeared frozen in the distance and every gesture and accent signified the negation of the old world and the reach for a new one. The way we lived created a new situation, one of exhuberance and friendship, that of a subversive micro-society, in the heart of a society which ignored it. Art was not the goal but the occasion and the method for locating our specific rythum and buried possibilities of our time. And discovering that true communication was what it was about, or at least the quest for such a communication, the adventure of finding it and losing it, we the unapppeased, the unaccepting, continued looking, filling in the silences with our own wishes, fears and fantasies. Driven forward by the fact taht no matter how empty the world seemed, how degraded and used up, we knew that anything was still possible, and given the right circumstances, a new world was just as likely as an old one. ----TO BEGIN AGAIN FROM THE BEGINNING----For I do not await the future anticipating salvation, absolution, not even enlightenment through process. I subscribe to the premise that flawed perfection is sufficient and complete in every single ineffable momentA single ego is an absurdly narrow vantage from which to view this experience. And where most consider their individual relationship to the universe, I contemplate relationships of my various Selves to one another.-The End.

A warning sig...

A warning sign, I missed the good part then I realized, I started looking and the bubble burst, I started looking for excuses. Come on in, I've got to tell you what a state I'm in, I've got to tell you in my loudest tones, That I started looking for a warning sign. When the truth is, I miss you, Yeah the truth is, That I miss you so. A warning sign, You came back to haunt me and I realized, That you were an island and I passed you by, You were an island to discover. Come on in, I've got to tell you what a state I'm in, I've got to tell you in my loudest tones, That I started looking for a warning sign. When the truth is, I miss you, Yeah the truth is, That I miss you so, And I'm tired, I should not have let you go, No. (piano solo) So I crawled back into your open arms, Yes I crawled back into your open arms, And I crawled back into your open arms, Yes I crawled back into your open arms.

BACK, MY REN...

BACK, MY RENAME TOKEN ARRIVED!!!COMMENT TO BE ADDED---> Or just add me and I'll add you back!

A Public Gateway to my Friend's List

Did I mention this journal is Friends Only, Comment to be Added?

semitrance

Side AThis is a reading for Krista in October of 2004.I'm getting a few little feelings, as far as guides go... I'm getting the feeling there are some guides there kind of standing there going- well, go on- they're kind of waiting for you to take your next step... that you're already on the way to taking. In other words, they're not so much... they don't seem to be in there pushing or being active at the moment- they're still there- they never go away- but they're just sort of ... *clears throat* allowing you to make your decisions and make your steps- so they're saying to be a bit more pro active, even make some mistakes but just continue with making choices- and being here. They're watching you. Do your stuff in this world. They're pulling back- going yeah yeah just go on- they can't interfere until you do what you've got to do. They're not going to make anything happen or push anything, really. You've got to get on with it- they're going, 'yeah yeah- get on with it! ' So take the next step, you're allowed- we're watching you- they just want to see you, as I always say with you in your readings- making peace with being Here. You're just still in that process. You need to be able to handle being here and being comfortable with it. They can't really - you actually have to be doing it for awhile. You feel like you're walking by yourself, and they're not with you- you just have to keep walking. They're still with you, but you have to be able to keep walking even if you don't know what they're doing. They can't take those steps for you. It doesn't mean they're not there. The other thing I'm getting- and this is really corny- I'm always aware when people are telling you 'you've got an American Indian guides' because it's one of those corny new age things- but when I'm looking around you trying to have a look at guides and stuff, I actually feel that there is that energy there, and I feel like there's a very specific reason for it- it's not that you've only got American Indians as your guides, you know- American Indian spirits or whatever, but, I get that there's some- you may have one or 2- but the very specific reason for you is to get intouch with nature. That's really important. And that could be going swimming, bushwalking, walking on the beach... making a garden, do something- it's the same thing, it always comes up- remember to Earth yourself. Um, so the guides that you do have- they're kind of going- you know, come on- get on with it- I feel that there's some energy there that is indiginous, but there's some earth energy there. Earth magik. Have you been reading any American Indian stuff? The reason that you've got that at the moment is because they're asking you to get intouch with Nature. Maybe that you have.. because guides do create all sorts of weird opportunities that you don't rationally understand how it happened- it may be that you have some opportunity to get outside, do some more nature stuff. Do go for it. Also water specifically- get into the water. That element that is your feelings- it'll teach you about how to flow through your feelings instead of putting them into boxes, and analyzing them. You've just got to feel them. I think getting into water will really help that. I have found in the last month or so there's been so much past life stuff coming through... so let's have a look. We've had a couple of eclipses... the eclipse full moon will really effect you. 26th. Feelings reading you have been drawing me to this... I get a feeling of a past life situation where you've been trapped... now I don't know if this is being trapped somewhere and dying- like you've been locked up or you passed away because you couldn't get out. What I got was you scratching... you trying to get out. I don't know if you're locked in a room, cupboard, being held hostage, buried alive- I don't know how serious it is, but I get that feeling around you it feels like anxiety- I know you have some anxiety issues because I've had it myself- I know how to read it. Anyway I just got it- wham. I think there's a past life thing about being trapped- and you know that feeling, that claustrophobic feeling- that's... and it's scratching- I've got to get out, I've got to get out, I'm not sure where you are... I'm not sure how many lifetimes ago it was- probably the last one I suppose- if it's coming up now- I also think you're trapped somewhere- I think you got locked up quite often, I feel like it's quite a small space, I don't know how literal it is- you're trapped. With you there's a reason. I do get a feeling of being trapped. I do think this is coming up now, because as you said, when you were younger you had a phobia of being locked up in rooms, you don't like lifts.... you know, there's a bit of anxiety there. It may have been. Because yours is coming up today... it's time for you to process it now... it's quite possible that this person is from that past lifetime. (on me waking up crying) it's nice to have some consciousness. It needs to be now processed where you can release it. You're stuck, and you're scratching... you can't get out... I'm only just realizing why I got that around you, because it's been rising up, and rising up... and now I've got it. It could have manifested literally as phobias, such as claustrophobia... or as this tendency to withdraw. So you don't like being locked away, you get claustrophobic- but it's become a safe space to withdraw and feel hidden. Maybe you spent alot of time locked away, and you hated it- but you also felt comfortable there. So in this lifetime, this is very deeply imprinted. So slowly you're processing and releasing this Karma, this patterning. About being a hermit and withdrawing. I always say just try and balance it with being here- being comfortable with interacting. This is one of your life tasks. I suspect if you can do some work on this past life stuff, it will all become alot easier. Becuase this conditioning that is so deep deep deep deep- has been coming more and more to the surface so you can process it. So you can release it- and once you release it, it's not driving you from the unconsicous anymore. So when you feel like, I just want to be alone, I want to be a hermit- it won't be such a pull. You'll feel like you have more freedom. I think alot of this conditioning is rising up to be released at the moment. This is the first time I've gotten a specific reason- it's a past life thing. Music in supermarkets.... I don't know exactly what happened- maybe there was music when you were trapped. I'm really making a big deal of this because whenever I tune into you I get this feeling of scratching... it's chhh chhh chhhcc... I say, well that's anxiety... but I've only just figured out what it's about because it's getting easier to read. It's really quite important because this is when you can start releasing it- I have some conditioning about retreating and being very hermetic- but you also hate it- you fight it. I feel like you're starting to release whatever imperative is causing that. I think it's a past life thing, and you're ready to let go of that. OK so oil- sandlewood, rose, rosemary... I'm being drawn to sandlewood. It's very earthy, soothing.. you might even wear some oil. I'm getting sandlewood- as this comes up, I'm getting this will be very soothing. If you possibly can- way of hooking up with certain people- organize to go off and do some horseriding- something really sporty- something outdoor and active. It's really good for you to get out there- get outdoors and not be inside. THis is part of this being trapped thing. Do something physical and active- making a commitment to being here in your body. Getting outside of yourself. Get some endorphins moving through your body- this thing about being tired all time time- too much channelling and ungrounded spiritual stuff. This is a leaning that you've got. Ground yourself and come out of yourself. The last thing you need right now is to get too much into books and ungrounded spiritual stuff, its taking you out of body. The past life stuff is coming up now so you can aknowledge and release it. Cos I feel that there's this massive anxiety in your body- and that's why you don't like being in your body- because it's anxious. And I know all about anxiety.. it's a physiological experience- so when you're in your body you feel nervous and anxious, so you get out of it by doing your channelling or whatever. Your path right now is to make peace with being in your body. Getting outdoors.. anything that's aerobic- gets the heart racing. It releases the anxiety. Alot of the anxiety that is living inside your body is what you're holding inside your body, it's from this past life thing. When you were trapped, it caused massive levels of anxiety and nervousness, panic- it flooded your body. Probably a death situation. You died with your body in that state of anxiety, so when you came back it was like 'oh no, here we go again.. back in body'. = anxiety. And you can realease that now because it's just not happening anymore- it's history. You're only holding anxiety in your body now because of habit, it's not necessity- so now it's about letting go of that and being committed to being in a body, in a positive way. You know what I mean, and enjoying that physicality- you're free. You're not trapped anymore. You're not locked in a room... you can do whatever you want. Your concscious mind knows that but your unconscious doesn't know that you're free- and I think that's where alot of the fears and anxieties and social stuff comes from. It may also have been in this past lifetime, if you were trapped alot- if you were very much hermatic, and you were always locked away, you didn't develop alot of social skills. So in this lifetime you're going 'I don't know how to be social!' but you do... nothing is stopping you now, do you know what I mean? You've got all this self knowledge, that you've developed for I don't know how many lifetimes- and that's something you can share. It's not a negative it's a positive. It's become a comfort zone but you don't like it and it's not working for you anymore. You've done too much introspective stuff. It does become a safety zone. There's a few levels here... lots of introspective stuff... you were very isolated, there might have been a death. A library? You said that very strongly. In your own little world... information, information... physically locked somewhere. A symbol of being locked away in a little world. A strong tendency to go back there.Because you're making such a dramatic shift in this lifetime- it's all coming up already- you're very young, you don't want to be going through this when you're 45, but it's a very intense time in your lifetime now. Because it's all coming up because you're going into your 20s and 30s... when you're on your own trip you don't always connect with your own age group. There's this stuff about socialising... you can get intouch with your skills. You assume subconsciously you don't have these skills but you do. Release it because it's all finished now. You bring the wisdom, reflective, etc. big step from that as a total safety zone to coming out of yourself. How to shift it... there will be alot of difference if you can work on that. I know that you probably think 'I'm not getting anywhere.. nothing's happening, it's not working'... I know you don't believe it- but it is happening. You're just making so much progress internally... I just want to say one thing about your family- with this last lifetime, your relationship with them was very strong. You've come into this lifetime with them- the energy around your mum, dad and at home is very reminiscient of this past lifetime- it's a feeling you've carried over, and once you release it you won't experience it so much with them. You're physically in an environment that is resonating with that energy. It's like that little box that you get trapped in. I feel you might decide to move. Could be the next several months... This is a move, very good for you.. energy change... once the energy of this house is really contributing to your condition.. processing past life stuff...